Diary of a Vehicon
by Fierceawakening
Summary: In the show we see throngs of badass-looking but easily destroyed Vehicons, sent in wave after unsuccessful wave to do battle with five or so Autobots. What do they think of all this? Here's my answer.


There's a sucker built every minute.

Hilarious, isn't it? You just find the right diodes to twirl on some slag-sucking idiot and you get whatever you want.

Yeah. Hysterical. Thing is, I'm starting to think the sucker is us.

Oh, right. Haven't even told you who I am yet. D-2328, at your service. No, I don't have a real name. Sometimes D-674 calls me Slagmouth when she's tired of hearing me complain. But I'd rather that one not stick, if it's all the same to you.

Isn't it funny how all this started with Megatron not having a name, and yet now the only machines who have names are the higher-ups? I'd say I wonder what happened, but... actually, I don't.

674 says things were better under Megatron. I wouldn't know. I wasn't built until the middle of the Three Years Dark, when he was gone. All I ever saw of Megatron was some speeches he gave after Starscream and Soundwave brought him back from deep space.

And one peek at him after - well.

Technically we still are under Megatron, whatever Comman - uh, _Lord _Starscream says. But he's in stasis with a hole blown clean through his chest. And I didn't get a good look at it, but from what I saw there's no spark there. I'd say I think the medbay machines are just rigged up to make it look like he still functions, but that can't be. If he was dead, Starscream would be crowing about it nonstop.

And hey, if anyone could live through a space bridge exploding in his face, it would be him. Those few weeks right when he came back to us were... exciting. Inspiring. He's not like Starscream, preening half the time. He knows what he wants.

And he's... well, he's _Megatron. _You can't help but respond to that. I don't know why. Sometimes I think it's just plain programmed in. "Hey, look, it's the Emperor of Destruction! The _real_ one. Hold on to your helms, things are gonna be different now!"

Though he was focused more on his new plan than on anything else, and it's kind of insulting that he was putting more faith in dead guys than in us. I mean, we're all mass-produced, but at least we're not _zombies._

674 sure got into it when Megatron came back, though, zombies or no zombies. And she didn't buy it when Starscream said he was dead, just kind of growled and shook her head. Told us all she knew it when he brought Megatron's body back.

The thing is, I don't think the Three Years Dark were all that bad. Don't tell anybody I said this, but it was kind of... nice. Even Starscream wasn't all that bad back then. He'd say stuff like "I, Starscream, lead you all in Megatron's stead" once a week, sure, but he wasn't blowing fuses if you didn't bow fast enough, not like he does now.

And we were just hanging around mining for energon, no Autobots bothering us or anything. Not like now, when every slagging week you hear about some huge unit of Vehicons that those, what, five Autobots out there ripped to pieces?

Yeah, I'm programmed to fight, just like any 'Con is. Doing nothing but mining, well, it makes you a bit jumpy. Your sensornet gets kinda - itchy - and sometimes your targeting systems are locking on to that one annoying brat in your unit before you realize what you're doing.

It's nice to know there's something real out there to shoot, not gonna lie.

Still... those odds?

I really don't like 'em.

Some of us are excited. 674 just can't wait until it's our turn. It's kind of disgusting, but she'd kick my aft if I told her to shut up. A few others are nervous, but eager. Others just say if it happens, it happens, and at least they'll have something to do.

I'm probably the only one who'd really rather not.

674 says that'll get me killed someday. I'd say "Like we're all not gonna die," but she'd get old Slagmouth into trouble. For the slag that comes out of his mouth.

Some 'Cons say there are only two sins: pity, whether for somebody else or for yourself, and stagnation. 674 grumbles it at me every time I look at her sideways.

I guess she's right. I'm guilty of both. I already said I don't want to die. And I have to admit I don't really see much to aspire to, not when everyone on the Nemesis but the higher ups has the same build as me, the same weapons as me, the same alternate mode...

And it's not like 674 wants much of anything, either. Last time we got a hold of some high-grade, she was blathering on about how if she ever did anything of note all she'd want would be a new paint job. Something to match the deserts out here, tan or gold.

I guess it makes sense. Stand out on the ship, blend in on the surface?

She's clever. Got to give her that.

Maybe that means she'll make something of herself. That's the way it's supposed to work, right? Climb up through the ranks, if you can. If you're ruthless enough or devious enough or capable enough or...

Whatever. We're all Exactly. The. Same.

I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I don't like the damn glitch any more than she likes me.

But when we do get the call, I hope she doesn't go down first.

It just wouldn't be fair, somehow.

###

_Out of the unit of 35 Vehicons sent out to face the Autobots in Battle E-328, only two survived. These were D-674 and D-1287._

_The records state that D-2328 was slain by the Autobot Bumblebee, and that his teammate D-674 was trying unsuccessfully to pry the Autobot off of him._

_D-1287 insists that D-2328 was in fact slain by D-674, who then attacked Bumblebee herself._

_It is indisputable, however, that D-674 managed to pry off one of Bumblebee's doorwings, as well as a sizable portion of the Autobot scout's arm. These she presented to Lord Starscream after returning from her unsuccessful mission._

_The two Vehicons have been reassigned to another unit, over which D-674 was granted command._

_D-674 required extensive repairs after the battle, including a full repaint. After much discussion, Lord Starscream agreed that she would be repainted gold, as a visual reminder to her unit and others of the enemy she damaged._


End file.
